My SAHM Experience

This post has been sitting in my drafts for months and has been deleted and rewritten many times. At times I convinced myself to forget about it all together. But it is something that for months has been on my mind and I want to share.

Being a Stay at Home Mom is not for me. 

I think there is so much judgment in that statement it is hard for many to say and if they do there is that instant guilt that comes with it. But I refuse to feel guilty over it. Every single one of us is different, our personalities, our needs/wants, our families so why feel guilty?

I live in Canada where we are beyond lucky to get a full year of paid maternity leave and the majority of us take that full year off. I did when I had Avery and truly loved that time with her but something was missing near the last bit of my leave. Like any new Mom, my return to work was filled with anxiety of the unknown. Will my child hate me for leaving them with a stranger for 40+ hours a week? How will I balance working and taking care of my family? You loose a huge sense of control giving your kid(s) to strangers (at first) and that is scary.

It was within a couple week of going back to work that I realized something huge. I realized that missing piece of my puzzle. I was my career. I missed work. I promise, I am sober writing this 😉

A couple things to note at this point. My dayhome is amazing and Avery had no adjustment issues, from day one she loved it there. Two – my work? Equally amazing and we have a family first policy so never have I had to pick work over a child that needed me.

Fast-forward to when we found out I was pregnant again. I knew instantly that that a full maternity leave was not going to happen again. I will admit that the fact that my maternity leave should have ended in March played a huge role too. I mean a 9-12 month old and 3 year old at home in the winter when I go stir crazy if we don’t get out daily? Not for us.

I am sure many people questioned if I would go through with this and I got a few odd looks when I would tell people happily “I am going back to work three months early”. Usually people assumed it was for financial reasons and while that was a perk it was not one of the top reasons I chose to go back early.

I put myself first.

I strongly believe that in order to be a good Mom you need to sometimes put yourself first. A tired, cranky and unhappy person can’t equal a happy and content Mom. This is why I went back to work early – self-care.

Did I feel guilty over leaving Chloe at 9 months to go and work? Of course, I did! But I also know it will not scar her for life and she certainly will never hate for me doing so.

I am in on my third week back to work now and guess what? My kids still love me! Most days Avery cries to leave dayhome – and those are the only tears we see. Not only are the girls beyond happy at dayhome I am happy to be back at work. It is a win-win for US.

So to the Mom(s) out there that love their job and have their kids in care- do not feel guilty. We can be working Moms and still be great Moms – and for some of us, better Moms.

These two little souls are my everything, regardless of the hours I spend with them:

Lindsey

 

Weekend Recap

Such a busy weekend! I have no idea how it is 8pm on Sunday already.

Friday

Lets face is Fridays are rarely exciting these days after the work week, pretty sure we were both in bed by 10pm.

Saturday

Avery had dance and it was the watch week so we got to go in after class and watch what they have learned so far. I wish I could say she nailed it but she just stood there (mostly) and stared at us. Maybe the next one will be better 😉

Chloe was a tad off so instead of going into work for a meeting I decided to stay home with her. Turns out I accidentally gave her something with feta in it Friday, poor girl. We did get some smiles though!

During nap time we did some paint touch ups and Avery loved the climbing the ladder – she told me she wants to do climbing lessons – haha.

We are making it a new goal to sit and work on letters and numbers for 15 minutes a day now. She had NO interest in learning most of her letters still so I need to work on this.

Later we met my Grandma for coffee and both girls slept the whole time basically! Oops.

That night my brothers and their girlfriends came over for games night and we stayed up until 1am!

Sunday

We all slept until 7am! It was too early and cold to run outside with everything so instead I hit the treadmill for my long run and watched Keeping up with the Joneses.

The rest of the day was crazy, we had pancakes and Avery and I headed out to a baby shower I was planning. It turned out so good!

I was not going to bring Avery at first but so glad I did since there was a ton of kiss there and they all played so good all afternoon. By the time we got home it was time to make supper and Avery passed out before we even ate!

Our weekend ended with the usual things, – packing lunches, finishing laundry and blogging 🙂

Lindsey

 

Foodie Friday

A few highlights of our week before meal planning:

1- I got in some great workouts this week, a spin class, lunch yoga class, 9 miles of running nad Hard Corps! Of course most went un-pictured.

5 mile run while watching Fuller House – which is not as corny as I thought it would be.

2 – Chloe had her monthly appointment and at 9 months her and Avery are the exact same weight and length! She moved up another curve and we talked about her issues with dairy and the next steps. For now, I am just happy she is not puking!

Clearly she hates the doctors 😉

3 – Our PVR quit working (it was 10 years old) last week so we have not been watching much TV – but evenings seem so much more productive and meaningful now! We did buy a new one though so now I am hoping we can cut down on the shows we watch.

Onto meal planning:

Saturday – Shrimp Stir-Fry with Noodles

Sunday – Turkey burgers (freezer) & salad

Monday – Slowcooker Chicken Noodle soup (Cooking Classy) & biscuits

Tuesday – Turkey Tacos – Kim’s Cravings 

Wednesday – Sweet Potato Black Bean Quinoa Bowls – Recipe Runner

Thursday – Roasted Baby Potatoes, Chicken Fingers and Greek Salad

Friday – Tuna Casserole

We have a busy weekend ahead, it is watch week for Avery’s dance class, having some family over Saturday, then one of my best friend’s baby shower Sunday that I have been planning.

Lindsey

Three Things Thursday

1- After a hiatus, I went on a reading frenzy.

I have read “kids are worth it” and working on “The Whole Brain Child” now – three is hard on us all 😉 On that note, my friend, Becky posted about motherhood yesterday her post is a must read for all Moms out there!

Then there is my book club book, The Best Kind of People, that was a great read and I could not put it down for the 10 days it took me to read it.

And last but not least, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up is sitting on my nightstand ready for my dive into.

2 – The weather here in Alberta has been amazing. I mean plus 7?! I went to lunch Tuesday and yesterday with no coat! And I thought the weekend was nice. Hopefully this lasts.

(From the weekend)

3 – Some perks to being back to work – dressing up every day – I mean heels, earnings, dresses – I missed this! Listening to music while working in peace, quiet lunches, lunch dates, yoga at lunch… Not to say I do not miss the girls but being back is pretty great too.

Lindsey

Getting to know me

Every year I try and have one post that is dedicated to random facts about myself so that readers cane get to know me a bit better. Usually these are pretty random and sometimes funny 🙂 So here we go:

1- I hate flying (Chad does too). But you would never guess it since we usually fly a couple times a year. For me the whole process causes me anxiety and I am a nervous nelly the entire flight. Any turbulence and I break out the yoga breathing instantly.

2 – I never drank coffee of any kind until a trip to Costa Rica in 2010 and I got hooked. Now I can’t imagine life without my daily cup(s) of joe!

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3 – Family channel was my favourite channel until a few years ago. Anyone else? Lizzie McGuire, The Suite Life, Hannah Montana, Wizard of Waverly Place. Now you all know how cool I really am 😉

4- I have curly hair but even close friends and family have maybe seen it curly a couple times in the past 15 years as I always straighten it.

From 2010 (I think):

curly hair

5 – I used to think that running was a punishment. Blame my high school gym teacher that made us run extra laps when we did not participate or slacked off.

Now I cannot imagine a week without running!

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6 – I am not a fan of crowds and have to work hard to not panic in them. My job has helped me a ton with this as I go to a fair amount of large events and networking functions.

7- Chad and I met on my 18th birthday…in a bar…

8 – I started my post secondary education in education then realized I could not be with kids (that are not my own) 40 hours a week.

9 –  My most hated foods are mayo and olives.

10 – I love musicals of any kind. I think this stems from my jealousy of anyone that can sing and or dance since I cannot do either! Probably my all-time favourite:

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11- I sleep through anything, crying babies included. Poor Chad always had to wake me up when the girls would wake in the night.

12 – I eat chocolate every single day!

13 – I have no aunts, uncles or (first) cousins.

14 – I always have my toenails painted but never paint my fingernails.

15 – I do not have a favourite colour.

Lindsey

Tell me one random fact about yourself!